Rating Band Names

 You get the idea based on the title. Let's get into it.

21 Pilots: I find it hard to believe that this specific number of pilots is strictly necessary. If there are too many pilots they'll only crowd the cockpit. 2/10. That's just a basic lack of planning.

Maroon 5: There? Are more???? Than five of them???????????? None of them???? Are any particular shade of red???????????? 3/10

Taylor Swift: If she were so swift, she would make music faster. When do the lies end, Taylor? When do they end? 1/10

N-Sync: Do you think you're funny? N-sync? In sync? In sync with what? A lazy singing style? 3/10

Foster the People: I'm certain you don't have enough influence or money to do that. Also, you shoot people? Is that right? You're most popular song is about shooting people? 4/10 but only because the song was good when I was 14 and depressed.

The Chainsmokers: I hate you and all that you do. You don't deserve that name, it's too edgy for your little trashy pop band of white men. You ruined Halsey, you ruined Coldplay (even if it was only temporary) and it infuriates me that your songs are so popular. 0. There won't be an /10 because you don't deserve it.

Lana Del Rey: That's not even your real name. I'll let it slide because I feel like you're living your best life. 8/10

Coldplay: You aren't even close to cold. When I want cold music, I want it to chill me to the bone, I want to feel real and genuine terror that stops my heart cold. You are moderately lukewarm. 5/10

Nickelback: I think it's sad that you included your net worth in your band name. I'm also mad that you were the main show at the North Dakota state fair during the July of 2018. They had Pop Evil open. We could have had a Pop Evil concert. How dare you. 1/10

Pop Evil: This name sounds like a cave man expressing an opinion. You get a pass because that's hilarious and I find great joy in it every time I think about it. 7/10

Imagine Dragons: I will. Thank you. 7/10

The Lumineers: Not much to say. Their album covers are always so dark though. There's never a single light color. I dunno that seems like lying to me. 4/10

Breaking Benjamin: I find no reason to. He's been dead for what, 300 years? 2/10

AJR: Short, concise. Doesn't waste your time. I like it. 8/10

Panic! at the Disco: This man looks like he has never had a panic attack in his life ever. He had the confidence to write a full album about his wife like 8 years before they got married. Does that sound like someone who has panic attacks or goes to the disco? Is disco still alive? 3/10

Halsey: That's just a mishmash of your first and last names. 3/10

Hozier: That's just one of your last names. 3/10

Fall Out Boy:

 

Feel free to send in band names for me to rate. Have a wonderful existence while you can. Eventually, you won't be able to.

Squidward is Bisexual. This is the Hill I Will Die On.

 Earlier this morning, I saw a post where there were a bunch of people arguing about which candidate for the 2020 election different Spongebob characters would vote for. Unsurprisingly, the conclusion they came to was that Bubble Bass and Squilliam Fancison would be the only characters to vote for Lord Dampnut. The part of the post I take issue with is a really, really dumb thing to fixate on, but the reasoning for Squidward voting for the other candidate, you know, that guy, was that he's a gay clarinet player; something that lord dampnut is opposed to. The problem is, Squidward is bisexual, not gay. It doesn't make much difference, but I'm going to make my case anyway.

𝓔𝔁𝓱𝓲𝓫𝓲𝓽 𝓐:

In the episode "Squilliam Returns" (The "fine dining and breathing" episode), Squidward is very clearly intimidated by Squilliam. So much so that he says, "Okay Squidward, just, imagine him in his underwear". Who does that? Who is afraid of one person in particular and says "I'm going to imagine him in his underwear to make him less scary"??????????????

Anyway, Squidward imagines this:

 

And follows with:

 

I think that this is really funny. Other than that, I don't really believe that Squidward would imagine Squilliam like this unless he were already attracted to him to some extent. Squidward, in all of his artist/clarinet player angst, imagines Squilliam as some out of reach, ideal male Octopus, and in other episodes, wishes that he could be like Squilliam, stoking a rivalry. Let's be real: Rivalries are not straight. There will always be a certain amount of homoeroticism present in any same-sex rivalry scenario. That's reality. You have to live with it.

Okay, so we have established that Squidward is attracted to Squilliam, but what about the other direction? That's simple really. In the episode, "Love That Squid" Squidward meets Squilvia in a scenario that looks somewhat like this:

 

The whole episode is about Squidward being nervous about going on a date with Squilvia, whom he is very obviously attracted to. 

Besides the very obvious episodes that demonstrate his bisexuality, he has all of the characteristics of a bisexual: Bitter, overdramatic, constantly tired, "tea with a lemon", over-intense (remember that snow episode?), plays clarinet, ridiculously awkward, goes out of his way to make a point. It's all there.

I rest my case. If you see any of the characteristics of bisexuality and say "Hey, I do that and I'm not bi!" I might have some news for you. That's it. The end. Go away and have gay thoughts at the gym or something.

Something.

 Is being unhinged a job? Is being absolutely silly something that I could make into a career? 

Obviously, the answer is yes. There are plenty of people who start a youtube channel and then immediately get sponsored by nordvpn or raid shadow legends or audible-remember when audible was sponsoring people? Other people thought that was gross, right? Do audio books work for anybody? It feels like it's impossible to retain any meaningful information when I'm listening to the boom rather than absorbing it with my sight orbs.

I understand that for some people it's easier to listen to a book rather than reading it, but how? I get bored so fast that I start dissociating and the story gets turned on its head. I started listening to the first book in the Witcher saga and and it broke me. I'm pretty sure someone died. In the book. Not real life... Maybe in real life? I couldn't hear anything and Minot is a sketchy city.

That's just neurodivergent brain I guess. Apparently my brain does the same kind of thing that ADHD brains do where they have really strange thought processes with no direct pathway. The best example I can think of right now is bad, but bear with me. Someone may be talking about how they had oatmeal for breakfast and I'll be like, "My favorite color for socks is green," with no logical explanation. What's probably happening in my brain is something like this:

Me: "mmm. They had oatmeal for breakfast. I love oatmeal."

Brain: (That's what I thought you'd say you dumb fucking horse)

Me: "Hmm... horses live on farms. Farms are where oatmeal is grown."

Brain: (The farmers probably have to get up early to tend to the oat)

Me: "Explain"

Brain: (Oat farm takes lots of effort. Time is required)

Me: "That makes sense. I wonder what they do to get ready in the morning?"

Brain: (Boot are probably involved)

Me: "They probably need good socks to make sure they don't wear out super fast"

Brain: (What color are sock?)

Me: "I like green."

Or something like that. It's surprising that anything gets done around here. It's of note that my horrible monkey brain does this on top of everything else. I'm literally playing Animal Crossing right now as I'm typing this. I'm also texting five people. All of these things requires my full attention. I'm also listening to music, but that doesn't count because I wasn't following along with the lyrics in my mind. The excessive need for dopamine is strong with this one. That's why impulse purchases happen. Did I need two more decks of cards? No. Did they make me slightly happy for a brief period of time? Absolutely. Are they currently making me happy? Not unless I also get them out to use them, but that would take away from making wishes on stars in Animal Crossing and I have to text Chris, Lilly, and my sister back. I don't have the time.

Sometimes my brain goes in the opposite direction, though, and doesn't want to do anything. On these days I sit on my bed and do something I don't want to do because it's easier than doing something I don't want to do than doing the things I need to do and want to do even less than what I'm doing. It makes me wish I could just stop, but then I would be bored and brain doesn't like that so it makes me do pointless and numb activity. 

And that's my life. A constant tug of war between doing too much and doing too little. I rarely win. My brain wins pretty much every time. It's worse when I'm caffeinated. Then I do things I don't want to do faster with more dissociation. I can usually do stuff that I need to but don't want to if  I'm caffeinated, though. Don't even get me started on sugar. I don't want more sweets because they will make me sick, but thinky machine demands dopamine.  

Why does life gotta be rough?

I didn't edit this because I'm playing Animal Crossing. If you're mad, who cares? Sue me.

I Am So Angry and I Can't Come Up With a Real Title

 So uhhhhh.... College amiright?

No. I am very wrong. If you agreed, reevaluate where you are in life. Nobody needs that kind of energy in their life. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. If I'm not going to be able to make a living wage, I might as well fail right out of high school instead of going to school for four years and not getting paid enough. One route gets you a shit ton of debt and both lead to not being able to support yourself. But it's your decision. If you just work hard enough, maybe you'll be deemed worthy enough to be alive. I'm practically already dead and I'm in college right now. 

That being said, college is such a scam omfg. Let me explain a bit (although if you're also in college you probably don't need me to.)

I'm currently attending Minot State University. I thought this would be fine. It's pretty cheap and it has decent ranking for academic quality. When I filled out my FAFSA, I got a loan that covered all of my expenses.

Not. We thought it would, but it didn't and it's not my fault. (By we, I mean me and my aunt who works at the college)

Minot State has a policy about freshmen: Unless you sign a waiver that says that you will live with family who are within 50 miles of the campus, you are required to live on campus and enroll in a meal plan. On some level, that makes sense. Requiring that you live on campus and have a meal plan means they can make sure that you have a place to stay and food to eat. The issue is, they aren't upfront about the charges.

Now obviously, they state how much everything costs. Here's the problem: I accepted my student aid in July. My loan from my FAFSA plus a scholarship was enough to cover all of my costs. But they didn't add the housing and meal plan charge until the middle of August. 

If you're not sure why that's a problem, let me explain. I received $8000 for tuition and fees and accepted it. It covered all of my tuition and class fees. I found out the day that tuition was due that I did not have enough to cover housing and meals and had to come up with $3000. If they require freshmen to live on campus, why in the hell did they not add the $3000 all the way back in July when they told me what everything would cost. What the fuck.

After talking to my aunt to figure out how the hell I was going to come up with $3000 in 10 hours, we talked about the situation a bit. She told me that a coworker said, "Freshmen get fucked."

No fucking kidding. When I talked to my sister about how it felt scummy to wait so long to add the charge to my account, she made me realize why it felt so scummy.Your FAFSA is supposed to cover as much of your schooling costs as possible. If they don't add the $3000 dollars right away, the government doesn't have that $3000 recorded as needed from the FAFSA. That pretty much forces you to either get a private loan, or deal with the cost out of pocket.

Even though the university says that they don't receive compensation of any kind from private loans, I honestly can't think of any other reason that they would deal with the costs like that. If I had known about this, I probably wouldn't have even enrolled. I got completely fucked over, and now I have an extra loan that I didn't want.

I'm beyond frustrated with this whole situation. I love learning and I like all of the people that I have met and worked with on campus, but don't go here, especially if you're a freshman. I doubt that anyone who reads this will have been considering going here, but seriously. 

If you have anything to say about this situation or about college in general, feel free to reach out to me. I certainly will not side with any college if you need to rant or whatever. 

Have a day. You can decide if it will be good or bad.

A Horrible and Cursed Idea

 I have a few important things to say before we get started.

Firstly, I'm very, very sorry for this particular blog post. I don't know about you, but this is not the content that I had in mind when I decided I wanted to hold onto this blog.

Secondly, here's a disclaimer. This post is going to discuss furries and the economy. I know that the economy is horrible and terrifying, but you'll survive. Also I'm not a furry and I know I like to tease people about being furries, but I don't actually have any more of an issue with furries than I do with people who engage in literally any other hobby. You wouldn't point at people who are into anime and tell your friends that they're gross for liking Naruto (Unless you're the worst kind of person). Nobody goes around and makes fun gaming communities for cosplay. It's not a big deal. Shut up.

You have no obligation to share this particular post with anybody and I won't ask you to share this post, but if you enjoy my blog posts, please share them with people you care about. If you have any friends who are furries, feel free to share this with them as a way to say, "I now know why you are the way you are!" Everybody is looking for reasons why they are the way they are. This may help.

And so it begins.

I was in the car with my older siblings when I noticed a building that was used as an office for a law firm. The sign on the building had the name of the firm and the mascot; an anthropomorphic squirrel wearing a kilt. When I saw this, a thought occurred to me that probably nobody was expecting: What if furries are an inevitability of capitalist society? 

I will be the first to admit that this is a weird thing to think after seeing a sign for a law firm. We aren't even going to get into the strange ADHD-esque logic pathways that connected these particular dots, but the point is, this particular sign led to thinking about whether there are patterns in the way anthropomorphisation is used in the world of business and whether these patterns have a noticeable impact on people who see them.

Quick detour. If you're not aware of what a furry is, welcome to the internet! I'm going to be taking this particular innocence away from you. Furries are people who have a particular interest in anthropomorphic animals. Furries generally seem to regard their community as a fandom the way that any other group centered around a particular medium does. Furries have animal personas, conventions, costumes of their persona, and any other fandom accoutrements that you can imagine. It is a little weird, but no judgement here.

My first question when exploring this was, "How does the world of marketing influence the public, and on a smaller scale, individuals?" We are constantly bombarded by marketing tactics and varying advertisements for everything from the new brand of bread to gadgets that you've never seen before and never needed. The obvious goal behind them is to convince you to buy something.The relevant strategy that comes for this topic is anthropomorphisation. There are a ton of studies about this particular topic. One study by Dwinita Laksmidewi et al says that, "researchers found that presenting products with human-like physical features led to consumers' positive response."1.   This is because assigning human traits to non-human things, like animals or inanimate objects, allows us to relate to things that we normally wouldn't assign human traits to.2.

 You have definitely seen these anthropomorphic mascots before. They're on cereal boxes, in sports teams, they're part of things you haven't even heard of. Some very popular media makes use of non-human characters. Children's literature has given any kind of animal you can feasibly think of human characteristics. It makes sense that there are people internalize this and make their own characters. If all of the examples before weren't enough, this random and kind of strange website makes the point that some of the most popular cartoon characters are furries. This is enough of a phenomenon that there is an entire website dedicated to research on furries that has resources for anybody who wants to learn the who, what, and why on furries. 

I know a lot of people don't see Tony the Tiger and think, "I wanna be that," but those who get involved with the furry community may have faced external factors that influenced them. New research has shown that advertisements can change the way that people feel and think about themselves. More specifically, the study states, "behaviorally targeted ads lead consumers to make adjustments to their self-perceptions to match the implied label.3.  Based on that, people most likely don't see mascots like the fucking cheeto's cheetah and think, "I want to be that," the unconscious process is probably closer to, "I want to be like that." 

So we have come full circle. A big combination of marketing strategies has likely led individuals to being a furry. I don't have the schooling or credibility to make a conclusion about whether or not furries are inevitable, but based on all of that, it certainly seems like it could be the case. I don't have the time or the patience (or the willpower for that matter) to continue researching for this, but feel free to do your own research on it. If the history of marketing tactics was different than it is, maybe there would be fewer furries, but furry mascots have been a thing since the industrial revolution. As long as there is a company trying to sell something, there will most likely be some genius on a marketing team somewhere who says, "Look at this! Empathy is triggered by this talking lion! Let's exploit that!"

 

This post took way too long. Anyway, I hope that you don't want to yeet yourself into the void too violently.

Thank you for reading. Love you.

Welcome Back!

 I know that this blog has been silent for a few months now. Boy is that about to change.

Thank you for clicking the link on twitter and reading my weird ravings on whatever happens to be trapped in my mind on any particular day. I appreciate you very much for continuing to read whatever these posts are supposed to be. If you are not here from twitter, I'm sorry. There's no way out. I now occupy a specific amount of space in your mind that is dependent upon how much you enjoyed reading my words. You will never get this space back. Know that I am there partying and generally making a fool of myself within your brain cells.

I just wanted to post an update about things. I am working on posts except when I am not working on posts. Specifically, I was not working on posts throughout June and July, but have been working on them since the middle of August. In particular, one post I'm working on is taking a long time to put together and it's quite a ride. Thank you for your patience. I hope that when my new post occupies your brain space you feel enriched and slightly further away from the ever-encroaching presence of the void. If you feel the need to hurl yourself into the gaping maw of the abyss upon seeing it, that's your prerogative. Just know that it will be here soon, so ready yourself.

Some quick updates about the things I have been interested in or activities I have partaken of while not in my daily resting coma:

1. Started college. Don't recommend.

2. Played 40 something hours of the Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles remake. Sweet nostalgia. I can't believe Square Enix butchered multiplayer :/ Fix my childhood Square Enix.

3. Read the first book in "The Witcher" series. I do not have an opinion yet. I'm still not 100% sure what is going on in this strange world, but I'm ready to find out.

4. Mother Mother? You've heard of them right? It's the band that's ruining my life at the moment. Here's a song I'm stuck on. Feel free to commiserate. 

5. Hozier. Always. Forever. What does that man know that we do not?

Dreamlife

  Please try to relate to this for a second. You are a mammoth pepper plant. The weather calls for freezing rain, and you are not hardy against the cold. It gets too cold. You freeze to death, slowly and agonizingly. Good you're still here. Trust me this is relevant. I have been having a numerous dreams that seem like events from past lives. Obviously they aren't really past lives, but they are very interesting little plot driven sleep hallucinations. Here's a couple of the ones that I remember.

1. House robbery:
   It started with being at school. For some reason, my mom called me out and brought me home and just left me there alone. She had a dentist's appointment or something. Also for some reason she beamed me the image of a clock. Beamed meaning sent me mental images of a specific clock.
This one. This was the clock.
 Anyway, after sitting on our couch for what was probably 45 minutes in dream time, I had the strangest thought that I should lock the doors because my parents never lock them when they leave (dream logic makes no sense). I wonder what kind of havoc having that thought in the dream could cause (All of it. All of the havoc). When I thought that and started to move towards the back door to lock it, the doorknob started rattling and in came some Mike Meyers bullshit. The guy that walked in held me at gunpoint and had me point out places where various valuables were spread about the house. It would have worked just fine if this guy wasn't an idiot. He tied me up (badly. Really badly. I was holding the end of the rope and making it seem like it was actually tied together) and asked me where he would find jewelry. I told him and this bozo left his gun on the couch exactly 0 feet from where I was "tied up". He left to find the jewelry and I was left to untie myself and grab his gun. Now I'm not a violent person but I would be difficult to rob because I will not hesitate to shoot a bitch (apparently). He came back out and got a faceful of lead... that didn't do anything. He then pulled out a second gun (how creative sleep brain) and I wrestled that one off of him too before I ran out and called the cops. He followed me into the neighbors house and my neighbor had to shoot him before he stopped moving finally. He wasn't dead. He came back two more times. The second time with napalm, the third with even more guns. The worst part of this was that he wasn't even actually stealing anything valuable. He held me at gunpoint for valuables and didn't take any of them. That jewelry he wanted? Yeah that thing also has fake jewelry in real life and he stole all of the fake stuff and didn't touch any of the real stuff. It was unreal. He died two more times before I woke up.

2. Mob whatever it was:
  This one was a doozy (and was also last night). There was some situation in the dream where I ended up following this mob boss guy around for some reason and doing what he said to do with another guy. He wasn't really a mob boss though? We ran through a bunch of different places, basically living on the road, doing various things for good that were also crimes. This includes robbing mafia fronts, breaking up gangs, and killing pedophiles. After a particularly rough night of doing crimes for the good of humanity, I was the only one who didn't "look like shit" according to the leader guy, so I was needed to refuel our little trailer thing that we lived in. Slight issue with that, we were ambushed by a gang that was not very happy with us, so I had to stop the thing from rolling into traffic after the gang cut the brakes, as well as rescue the leader guy from the trailer after they set it on fire. Fun. He was unconscious and me and the other guy were trying to run away while carrying him before we were cornered by the gang. They just said that they wanted the leader, and we refused to give him up. After a while, they said they would poison us (?) if we didn't hand him over, so the other guy said something along the lines of, "He wouldn't want us to die. Let's do it for him." So we handed him over and left the building we were cornered in, and they gunned us down.
  All of that craziness aside (with little of the actual content of the dream. it was pretty graphic and included running people over), I wish my drawing skills were up to par because right before the gang ambushed us, I looked up into the mirror of the visor thing of the car I was driving and saw what I looked like. It was super surreal.

Maybe It's Time for Something New

 The garden is once again starting to grow. The sun has made its first appearance for the first time in weeks and I cannot find a single reason to be outside because of the wind. That's a fantastic little fail on nature's part. I like gardening but right now nothing is actually growing quite yet. We planted seeds a few days ago but it isn't really like you can do much with them. They're analogous to babies, if your baby could randomly split itself in half if it wanted a sibling after it were born. Now that you have this wonderful image in your mind, here are some of the fantastic activities that we have been able to partake in in the realm of gardening in the past week:

•    Planting seeds : self-explanatory
•    Planting dirt : just like planting seeds but much dirtier somehow
•    Un-planting weeds : planting things in reverse. You get it. Don't act like you don't.

Now normally these things would be quite fun and are usually quite rewarding when you get down to it, but when nothing is past its baby stage, all you can really do is stare at the dirt you planted and will something to happen. It's just like watching grass grow except it's not grass and it's much more pleasing to look at once it's finished growing. Pulling weeds is an even smaller story because with weeds you can watch them grow, but they're much easier to uproot or stab to death because they aren't particularly big right now. It reminds me of a certain Roman senator, albeit, with much more pulling.
  Weeding isn't particularly interesting when you can't have a battle to the death with a horrifying network of double-agents. Right now weeding is more like micromanaging a bunch of stationary toddlers. I would film it, but nobody would be particularly interested in watching some rando not talk while they search a 5x5 foot raised bed for the most minuscule hint of life to demolish. It's difficult to imagine that any of this will change anytime soon, so maybe it's time to find some new hobbies, and try some new things out. Hopefully you will enjoy this little journey.

New hobby #1: Foraging.
  Imagine gardening, but even more futile. It's still way too early for this one, so all I've found so far is seedlings and heaps of disappointment. Also lots of research, but we won't get into that because it wouldn't be super interesting to read unless you're a special kind of nerd.

New hobby #2: Reading
  This isn't really very new, but if you haven't had all will to read in your free time forcefully separated from your being by having classes of any kind, you probably won't get it. I started reading a bunch of books a while ago but that kind of fell off as school continued onward, so starting some of them again has been quite fun, especially during this quarantine. I'm currently working my way through King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo. It's essentially a story where a found family has to murder the spirit of a demon that is possessing the king of a nation that is constantly at war for various reasons. Bardugo is a fantastic author, and you should check out some of her other stuff as well.

New hobby #3: Making art?
  Sure, why not.

Enjoy this random drawing of Pidge from Voltron.












New hobby #4: scrapbooking...?
   This is literally the most boring thing I have ever done

New hobby #5: Going through random files on my phone
  I have a pdf called "Mean Sidewalks"

Let's see what this is...

 I have no idea what this is supposed to be.
Where did it come from??????


 Well none of that was super great. Hopefully you're all having more success at entertaining yourselves than I am.

Road Safety PSA

 I am a normal average everyday human being. I wake up in the morning, I drive to various locations, I consume the molecules that contain chemical energy that is useful for my metabolism. I use my turn signal like any other normal person. That's right. Using a turn signal is normal. If you do not, you are the weird one. I don't make the rules. If this is the first time you are hearing the rules you shouldn't be driving. You are a danger to other people on the road, but I digress. I find that many people are unaware of the many different kinds of drivers that are out there and it is important that we are knowledgeable when it comes to drivers.
     When I am driving to various locations (usually places in Wichita) I encounter various species of drivers. The most common is the road-rage grandmother or RRG's for short. My interactions with them in the wild usually go as follows: RRG appears in my rear-view mirror; RRG drives 5 feet behind me for at least 10 minutes to assert dominance; RRG veers off of the highway. Fortunately, these drivers are not usually overtly aggressive and are quite gentle if you interact with them in a controlled environment. I also very commonly see a species that I refer to simply as Mr. Man. A Mr. Man will aggressively swerve in their lane and become visibly agitated when you are going the speed limit. This species has abandoned all sense of self-preservation and is often seen going at least 10 miles above a normal or safe driving speed. If you encounter this species in the wild, I suggest that you drive slowly and attempt to let them pass you as quickly as possible for your safety. Mr Man does happen to have a counterpart that we will simply refer to as Edith. An Edith is a very docile mix between a RRG and a Mr. Man. They are usually spotted going 45 miles per hour. In fact, 45 miles per hour seems to be the only speed they can go and no Edith has ever been spotted going any other speed. This species is quite a pleasant mixture of tame and not realizing that road regulations are there for safety purposes. If you encounter an Edith on your driving adventures, you should just go around them.
   The only species of driver that you should really worry about is the Methhead. Methheads are particularly dangerous, moving at an average speed of 65 miles per hour. Unlike other drivers, this species does not move with a vehicle, making them particularly dangerous to pedestrians and people with artificial cars (The distinction of artificial car is made here as drivers usually have natural cars that grow with them from birth). You will be able to differentiate them from the harmless pedestrian by their eyes. Methheads have a bright green eyeshine. If you see a Methhead, do not attempt to drive away. Methheads are extremely aggressive, and extremely agile and will catch you if you are not careful. If you encounter one, it is best to drive by as slowly as possible while avoiding eye contact. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you attempt to use cruise control while a Methhead is nearby. Cruise control is a natural indicator to the Methhead that there is food nearby. Using cruise control makes you a target. AVOID METHHEADS AT ALL COSTS.
     For the safety of the public in these trying times, it is extremely important that everyone educate themselves on this very important topic. It is important that you know not to fear a Road-Rage Grandmother if you see one. It is important that you DO fear a Methhead if you are unfortunate enough to encounter one in the wild. If you are smart, you will be able to avoid the extremely dangerous Methhead. If you do encounter and/or are bitten by a Methhead, it is important that you seek medical care immediately. While there is no antidote for their extremely toxic venom, supportive care is enough to get many people through the worst of the agonizing burning sensations and the crippling feeling of dread. If you believe a loved one has been bitten by a Methhead and is attempting to hide it or treat it themselves, you should SWAT them. Feelings of dread caused by Methhead venom have caused people to do very strange and very dangerous things. My cousin Jeremy tried to treat a Methhead bite at home and he ventured to the Parisian catacombs convinced that there was a being he referred to as "The One of Night" in the deepest depths of the catacombs themselves. Of course this is a ridiculous fantasy and after being apprehended by border control and given proper treatment, he made a full recovery. Fortunately, everybody in law enforcement and other kinds of enforcement were very understanding. Many of the individuals who work these kind of jobs undergo Methhead envenomation as standard training protocol, so they know what it's like. There really is no reason to have fear. Together, we can overcome the dangerous world we live in.