Dreamlife

  Please try to relate to this for a second. You are a mammoth pepper plant. The weather calls for freezing rain, and you are not hardy against the cold. It gets too cold. You freeze to death, slowly and agonizingly. Good you're still here. Trust me this is relevant. I have been having a numerous dreams that seem like events from past lives. Obviously they aren't really past lives, but they are very interesting little plot driven sleep hallucinations. Here's a couple of the ones that I remember.

1. House robbery:
   It started with being at school. For some reason, my mom called me out and brought me home and just left me there alone. She had a dentist's appointment or something. Also for some reason she beamed me the image of a clock. Beamed meaning sent me mental images of a specific clock.
This one. This was the clock.
 Anyway, after sitting on our couch for what was probably 45 minutes in dream time, I had the strangest thought that I should lock the doors because my parents never lock them when they leave (dream logic makes no sense). I wonder what kind of havoc having that thought in the dream could cause (All of it. All of the havoc). When I thought that and started to move towards the back door to lock it, the doorknob started rattling and in came some Mike Meyers bullshit. The guy that walked in held me at gunpoint and had me point out places where various valuables were spread about the house. It would have worked just fine if this guy wasn't an idiot. He tied me up (badly. Really badly. I was holding the end of the rope and making it seem like it was actually tied together) and asked me where he would find jewelry. I told him and this bozo left his gun on the couch exactly 0 feet from where I was "tied up". He left to find the jewelry and I was left to untie myself and grab his gun. Now I'm not a violent person but I would be difficult to rob because I will not hesitate to shoot a bitch (apparently). He came back out and got a faceful of lead... that didn't do anything. He then pulled out a second gun (how creative sleep brain) and I wrestled that one off of him too before I ran out and called the cops. He followed me into the neighbors house and my neighbor had to shoot him before he stopped moving finally. He wasn't dead. He came back two more times. The second time with napalm, the third with even more guns. The worst part of this was that he wasn't even actually stealing anything valuable. He held me at gunpoint for valuables and didn't take any of them. That jewelry he wanted? Yeah that thing also has fake jewelry in real life and he stole all of the fake stuff and didn't touch any of the real stuff. It was unreal. He died two more times before I woke up.

2. Mob whatever it was:
  This one was a doozy (and was also last night). There was some situation in the dream where I ended up following this mob boss guy around for some reason and doing what he said to do with another guy. He wasn't really a mob boss though? We ran through a bunch of different places, basically living on the road, doing various things for good that were also crimes. This includes robbing mafia fronts, breaking up gangs, and killing pedophiles. After a particularly rough night of doing crimes for the good of humanity, I was the only one who didn't "look like shit" according to the leader guy, so I was needed to refuel our little trailer thing that we lived in. Slight issue with that, we were ambushed by a gang that was not very happy with us, so I had to stop the thing from rolling into traffic after the gang cut the brakes, as well as rescue the leader guy from the trailer after they set it on fire. Fun. He was unconscious and me and the other guy were trying to run away while carrying him before we were cornered by the gang. They just said that they wanted the leader, and we refused to give him up. After a while, they said they would poison us (?) if we didn't hand him over, so the other guy said something along the lines of, "He wouldn't want us to die. Let's do it for him." So we handed him over and left the building we were cornered in, and they gunned us down.
  All of that craziness aside (with little of the actual content of the dream. it was pretty graphic and included running people over), I wish my drawing skills were up to par because right before the gang ambushed us, I looked up into the mirror of the visor thing of the car I was driving and saw what I looked like. It was super surreal.