Blog Post of the Vsauce Variety

A while ago I made a really weird vsauce script (the word "script" is used tentatively because the formatting is wrong please don't be angry) and this script is just... Something. Its not something written seriously, but being human entails that you create dumb things purely for fun. If you so choose to read it, it will be below because who doesn't enjoy having their eyeballs scalded for the sake of SCIENCE!

Int. Plain and barren room. The camera is zoomed in against a white wall

A man who is not Michael rises from the floor

Not Michael: “hey, Vsauce. Michael here…”

There is a pause as Not Michael arches an eyebrow

Not Michael: “or is it? Where are we? And where is Michael?”

A door opens and closes in the background

Not Michael: “To answer the last question, we first have to ask a couple of questions.”

Not Michael lifts his hand. He is holding a ‘question’

Not Michael: “Questions like 'where was Michael last seen?’ or”

Another pause as Not Michael stares questioningly at the camera

Not Michael: “'does Michael even exist?’”

Another Not Michael walks into frame from the right side. He is holding a 'not question’. There is an unzipping noise and the original not Michael removes their skin costume to reveal Michael. Michael removes 'gun’ from his mouth and shoots Not Michael. 

Michael: “SCIENCE.”

The 'not question’ raises out of Not Michael's hand and engulfs the screen. Michael's call for science has been heard. Science will arrive soon to assimilate all things. There is no escape.

Take that as you will. It's probably not as funny as I thought it was at the time, but, again, it's something. I actually want more things like this in my life so if you were inspired© by the vsauce "script" and decide to make something similar please send it to me. It doesn't have to be "good". What is "good" is purely subjective, and if its any indicator of my particular taste, I thought the movie "Dr. Bean" was good. Maybe its just because Rowan Atkinson as well as the fact that you can tell that he is living his best life when he's playing characters like that. He just has the best time. I want to be like that.

It also doesn't really matter. Everything you do is simultaneously good and bad and you don't get to choose why or how or when but being a person is difficult enough without having to worry about it. Just make stuff.

Koko, the sign language speaking gorilla, upon being asked where gorillas go when they die, she signed, of all things, "Comfortable hole. Bye." She has truly blessed us with her infinite wisdom.

On this note, I bid you goodnight. What is a bed but a comfortable rectangle. Comfortable rectangle. Bye.