Blog Post of the Vsauce Variety

A while ago I made a really weird vsauce script (the word "script" is used tentatively because the formatting is wrong please don't be angry) and this script is just... Something. Its not something written seriously, but being human entails that you create dumb things purely for fun. If you so choose to read it, it will be below because who doesn't enjoy having their eyeballs scalded for the sake of SCIENCE!

Int. Plain and barren room. The camera is zoomed in against a white wall

A man who is not Michael rises from the floor

Not Michael: “hey, Vsauce. Michael here…”

There is a pause as Not Michael arches an eyebrow

Not Michael: “or is it? Where are we? And where is Michael?”

A door opens and closes in the background

Not Michael: “To answer the last question, we first have to ask a couple of questions.”

Not Michael lifts his hand. He is holding a ‘question’

Not Michael: “Questions like 'where was Michael last seen?’ or”

Another pause as Not Michael stares questioningly at the camera

Not Michael: “'does Michael even exist?’”

Another Not Michael walks into frame from the right side. He is holding a 'not question’. There is an unzipping noise and the original not Michael removes their skin costume to reveal Michael. Michael removes 'gun’ from his mouth and shoots Not Michael. 

Michael: “SCIENCE.”

The 'not question’ raises out of Not Michael's hand and engulfs the screen. Michael's call for science has been heard. Science will arrive soon to assimilate all things. There is no escape.

Take that as you will. It's probably not as funny as I thought it was at the time, but, again, it's something. I actually want more things like this in my life so if you were inspired© by the vsauce "script" and decide to make something similar please send it to me. It doesn't have to be "good". What is "good" is purely subjective, and if its any indicator of my particular taste, I thought the movie "Dr. Bean" was good. Maybe its just because Rowan Atkinson as well as the fact that you can tell that he is living his best life when he's playing characters like that. He just has the best time. I want to be like that.

It also doesn't really matter. Everything you do is simultaneously good and bad and you don't get to choose why or how or when but being a person is difficult enough without having to worry about it. Just make stuff.

Koko, the sign language speaking gorilla, upon being asked where gorillas go when they die, she signed, of all things, "Comfortable hole. Bye." She has truly blessed us with her infinite wisdom.

On this note, I bid you goodnight. What is a bed but a comfortable rectangle. Comfortable rectangle. Bye.

What a Wonderful Bad

Wow a blog post! It's been so long.
If you aren't into people being sad, you shouldn't read this. I don't blame you (yet). If you're into feeling emotions(tm), then boy is this the post!
Just a slight disclaimer: I will not he held responsible for any emotion you feel because of this post. I know I'm the one who wrote it, but you're the one who decided to read it. That's basically like signing a contract, trust me on this one I know some stuff about law (sometimes)

Well here we are. Do you feel an emotion yet? That's my patented emotion that we call apprehension. Or possibly irritation. Why? Because I'm not getting to the point. That's because you need some time to decide whether or not you want to turn back. You're welcome.

Things have been kind of not good. We're currently in a short respite from an ongoing problem that feels like it's tearing the very walls apart; ripping the stones from our houses foundation. It's very possible that the foundation is gone already. That's the really scary part. If we leave it behind there will be nothing left for those left in the aftermath.
I don't know what to do. I'm so tired because I've spent so long trying to take responsibility for things that it feels like my life is being replaced by the sense that I need to fix things somehow, even if it's scary or difficult, even if I have to choke down my discomfort to pretend that something will change. It's exhausting to not be able to be angry because I've never been allowed to be. What's worse is that the anger always resurfaces as resentment, only to be buried again in the hope that it will become acceptance. The resentment only ever returns as a guilt for not being able to do anything, and the cycle continues.
And it never really ends. If I try to remove myself, I meet things with defensiveness and a paralyzing need for privacy. I try to reach out to others, and am met with silence more often than a response. At this point I'm not sure if I'm bad at keeping in touch with people, or if I've given up trying to interact in the first place. There's always the uncertainty of "maybe I'm bothering them," or "they're angry at me," and it's the guilt again, and then more disengagement. I even have nightmares about people being upset with me. It feels like there's nothing outside of the windows of this house sometimes, and maybe that's because the curtains are shut to make everyone think that nobody is home. It's no way to live. And I wish it would end so my life could take place instead.