The National Weather Service is my Enemy

The weather forecast for yesterday as well as the rest of this week have been calling for a lot of rain. This is not a normal amount of rain. To be specific, last night, there was a severe weather warning for multiple counties in the state we live in. These counties are generally not scary, but when they're presented by the National Weather Service (NWS), they are the most terrifying thing ever.

There's a TV show called Nova that's on every Wednesday, and as yesterday was Wednesday, there was an episode. This specific episode was about bridges. Seriously. The topic of this documentary episode, was rebuilding covered bridges. So that is literally one of the most mundane things ever. Imagine the most mundane thing you've ever seen, and move it down slightly to make room for the bridge episode.

So here we are, watching a very calming episode, where coincidentally, bridges are destroyed by severe weather, when suddenly, there's the sound. The sound that has been the stuff of nightmares since I was a very young child. Imagine it. A bridge getting destroyed by rising flood waters. And then "EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR. EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR. EEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR."

Last night when that happened, I was so upset that I wrote a short story about it. The story is as follows:

"Is anyone else terrified of the national weather service thing? You'll be watching a documentary on bridges or something and 'EEEEERRRR'. Stop complaining we get it lmao." The time tag says "0s" and later it didn't. It's a Tuesday. The next day, it will not be a Tuesday. The coming days will bring a tornado. This tornado will be called Micheal.

The time tag on the twitter post now says "1ho." This was a rather rude time tag. I get a notification. Someone replied to my tweet. They said, "Don't complain so loud or the national weather service will hear you." The twitter account then deleted itself. The persons computer had a walrus problem, resulting in a fatal error, and a fatality on the computer.

The time tag on the twitter post says, "2d." Use your imagination to give that meaning. Micheal has come and gone. There was nothing left of the imaginary house I built. I put all of my savings into that imaginary house. The national weather service van pulls up. Yes, they have a van.

Their representative steps out. The whole weather service is in the van. She speaks on behalf of the whole weather service. "Is your name Rhonda?" She asks. "No," I reply, my name having never been Rhonda. She then reaches out and stabs me in the arm. "We don't like getting called a complainer, Rhonda." She then re-entered the van and the national weather service drove away.

The twitter time tag says "3d." Micheal is gone, and so is the national weather service. There was another reply to the twitter post. "Hey Rhonda, it's Micheal," the reply says. I close twitter and sigh. Time to rebuild my imaginary house.

So that's the story. I have no real reason to be mad at the NWS, but, you know, I guess? The weather service thing still scares me, and hopefully it rains tonight so that it freezes and we have an excuse to stay home. Also ice, but mostly I want an excuse to stay home.

Anyway, the Nova website is here if you want to check it out. The NWS link is here if you want to send them a strongly worded letter. If you do, motion them in the general direction of this post. And with that, make sure that you comment with your feelings about the NWS, and remember that eveything you do is an adventure.