Maybe It's Time for Something New

 The garden is once again starting to grow. The sun has made its first appearance for the first time in weeks and I cannot find a single reason to be outside because of the wind. That's a fantastic little fail on nature's part. I like gardening but right now nothing is actually growing quite yet. We planted seeds a few days ago but it isn't really like you can do much with them. They're analogous to babies, if your baby could randomly split itself in half if it wanted a sibling after it were born. Now that you have this wonderful image in your mind, here are some of the fantastic activities that we have been able to partake in in the realm of gardening in the past week:

•    Planting seeds : self-explanatory
•    Planting dirt : just like planting seeds but much dirtier somehow
•    Un-planting weeds : planting things in reverse. You get it. Don't act like you don't.

Now normally these things would be quite fun and are usually quite rewarding when you get down to it, but when nothing is past its baby stage, all you can really do is stare at the dirt you planted and will something to happen. It's just like watching grass grow except it's not grass and it's much more pleasing to look at once it's finished growing. Pulling weeds is an even smaller story because with weeds you can watch them grow, but they're much easier to uproot or stab to death because they aren't particularly big right now. It reminds me of a certain Roman senator, albeit, with much more pulling.
  Weeding isn't particularly interesting when you can't have a battle to the death with a horrifying network of double-agents. Right now weeding is more like micromanaging a bunch of stationary toddlers. I would film it, but nobody would be particularly interested in watching some rando not talk while they search a 5x5 foot raised bed for the most minuscule hint of life to demolish. It's difficult to imagine that any of this will change anytime soon, so maybe it's time to find some new hobbies, and try some new things out. Hopefully you will enjoy this little journey.

New hobby #1: Foraging.
  Imagine gardening, but even more futile. It's still way too early for this one, so all I've found so far is seedlings and heaps of disappointment. Also lots of research, but we won't get into that because it wouldn't be super interesting to read unless you're a special kind of nerd.

New hobby #2: Reading
  This isn't really very new, but if you haven't had all will to read in your free time forcefully separated from your being by having classes of any kind, you probably won't get it. I started reading a bunch of books a while ago but that kind of fell off as school continued onward, so starting some of them again has been quite fun, especially during this quarantine. I'm currently working my way through King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo. It's essentially a story where a found family has to murder the spirit of a demon that is possessing the king of a nation that is constantly at war for various reasons. Bardugo is a fantastic author, and you should check out some of her other stuff as well.

New hobby #3: Making art?
  Sure, why not.

Enjoy this random drawing of Pidge from Voltron.












New hobby #4: scrapbooking...?
   This is literally the most boring thing I have ever done

New hobby #5: Going through random files on my phone
  I have a pdf called "Mean Sidewalks"

Let's see what this is...

 I have no idea what this is supposed to be.
Where did it come from??????


 Well none of that was super great. Hopefully you're all having more success at entertaining yourselves than I am.

Road Safety PSA

 I am a normal average everyday human being. I wake up in the morning, I drive to various locations, I consume the molecules that contain chemical energy that is useful for my metabolism. I use my turn signal like any other normal person. That's right. Using a turn signal is normal. If you do not, you are the weird one. I don't make the rules. If this is the first time you are hearing the rules you shouldn't be driving. You are a danger to other people on the road, but I digress. I find that many people are unaware of the many different kinds of drivers that are out there and it is important that we are knowledgeable when it comes to drivers.
     When I am driving to various locations (usually places in Wichita) I encounter various species of drivers. The most common is the road-rage grandmother or RRG's for short. My interactions with them in the wild usually go as follows: RRG appears in my rear-view mirror; RRG drives 5 feet behind me for at least 10 minutes to assert dominance; RRG veers off of the highway. Fortunately, these drivers are not usually overtly aggressive and are quite gentle if you interact with them in a controlled environment. I also very commonly see a species that I refer to simply as Mr. Man. A Mr. Man will aggressively swerve in their lane and become visibly agitated when you are going the speed limit. This species has abandoned all sense of self-preservation and is often seen going at least 10 miles above a normal or safe driving speed. If you encounter this species in the wild, I suggest that you drive slowly and attempt to let them pass you as quickly as possible for your safety. Mr Man does happen to have a counterpart that we will simply refer to as Edith. An Edith is a very docile mix between a RRG and a Mr. Man. They are usually spotted going 45 miles per hour. In fact, 45 miles per hour seems to be the only speed they can go and no Edith has ever been spotted going any other speed. This species is quite a pleasant mixture of tame and not realizing that road regulations are there for safety purposes. If you encounter an Edith on your driving adventures, you should just go around them.
   The only species of driver that you should really worry about is the Methhead. Methheads are particularly dangerous, moving at an average speed of 65 miles per hour. Unlike other drivers, this species does not move with a vehicle, making them particularly dangerous to pedestrians and people with artificial cars (The distinction of artificial car is made here as drivers usually have natural cars that grow with them from birth). You will be able to differentiate them from the harmless pedestrian by their eyes. Methheads have a bright green eyeshine. If you see a Methhead, do not attempt to drive away. Methheads are extremely aggressive, and extremely agile and will catch you if you are not careful. If you encounter one, it is best to drive by as slowly as possible while avoiding eye contact. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you attempt to use cruise control while a Methhead is nearby. Cruise control is a natural indicator to the Methhead that there is food nearby. Using cruise control makes you a target. AVOID METHHEADS AT ALL COSTS.
     For the safety of the public in these trying times, it is extremely important that everyone educate themselves on this very important topic. It is important that you know not to fear a Road-Rage Grandmother if you see one. It is important that you DO fear a Methhead if you are unfortunate enough to encounter one in the wild. If you are smart, you will be able to avoid the extremely dangerous Methhead. If you do encounter and/or are bitten by a Methhead, it is important that you seek medical care immediately. While there is no antidote for their extremely toxic venom, supportive care is enough to get many people through the worst of the agonizing burning sensations and the crippling feeling of dread. If you believe a loved one has been bitten by a Methhead and is attempting to hide it or treat it themselves, you should SWAT them. Feelings of dread caused by Methhead venom have caused people to do very strange and very dangerous things. My cousin Jeremy tried to treat a Methhead bite at home and he ventured to the Parisian catacombs convinced that there was a being he referred to as "The One of Night" in the deepest depths of the catacombs themselves. Of course this is a ridiculous fantasy and after being apprehended by border control and given proper treatment, he made a full recovery. Fortunately, everybody in law enforcement and other kinds of enforcement were very understanding. Many of the individuals who work these kind of jobs undergo Methhead envenomation as standard training protocol, so they know what it's like. There really is no reason to have fear. Together, we can overcome the dangerous world we live in.